What Would You Do.........

What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What a wonderful question and I'm sure we could all start rattling off answers.


This is a great question because it gets the creative juices flowing . That's important because so many people stay stuck out of fear of failing. Take that fear out of the way and a whole new world opens up.


So what would you do. Start a business? Move to a different country? Go back to school? The options are limitless............As I am writing this I just received a phone call from my sister who did just that.....pushed through the fear...... and started her studies to become a paralegal this evening.


Is she scared?...Probably, but she is doing it anyway and what I heard in her voice tonight was not fear, but excitement and energy and aliveness.


I don't think she will fail and I know she will be an excellent paralegal.


So what would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Thank You To All Those Who Serve

I just want to take a few minutes to thank all those who serve in the military. I may not agree with war but I admire and respect all those who will put their life on the line for the rest of us,whether or not we believe in war.

My step- son Andy is one of these special people, serving currently in Iraq. We have not seen to much of him in the past few years as he has bounced from one country to another. We miss him a lot. I don't always agree with his politics but I appreciate his dedication.

To all those who give service to this country........Thank YOU

Listening With Both Ears

My husband and I were on our way home from the movies last night when I heard him say " Honey....honey?" "Huh" I answered coming back from wherever I was in my own little world...."I was talking to you. Didn't you hear me"? No I hadn't heard him because I wasn't listening and it got me to reflecting how often do I do that, Just zone out on my husband when he's talking to me......or my kids.

These are the people with whom I want to have my most intimate relationships and I think sometimes I give them the least care. I guess I feel that I will always have time to listen to them. I think, though that I don't always give them the respect I give to my clients.

My clients get my full attention I listen with both ears, to every word, to what they are saying and what they might not be saying.... sometimes that is just as important.
I may be missing something important with my loved one if I don't take the opportunity to listen to them with both ears.

If nothing else at least they will know they are worth the effort. I suspect my reward will be even greater.

Enron and Integrity

With one of the major news stories concerning the guilty verdict in the Enron trial it makes me reflect about integrity in business. The guilty verdict seems to be the stamp of approval that people are not going to put up with corrupt business practices. That's a positive vote for all of us.


Business today is hard enough and with so much business being conducted on the web it can be tricky trying to develop relationships with people you trust. When I am at my "other job" almost everyone I deal with is face to face. Learning to wind my way through the worldwide web is a little more challenging. I can't look the person I want to do business with straight in the eye. I can't hear the tone of voice,or shake his or her hand.


I proceed with a great deal of faith and reading between the lines. I feel I have been fortunate because many of the alliances and relationships I have developed as I create this online business have been with people of integrity, something I value highly. These are the people who I am thrilled to associate with and introduce to the clients I serve. They go above and beyond and are genuinely caring.


Revisiting the Enron scandal again today has just reinded me that though there are people out there operating from greed and personal satisfaction, honesty and integrity are still valued by the majority.

Do You Commit or Do You Try?

I was having a conversation the other day and someone (my coach) asked me to do something and the first response out of my mouth was "I'll try". "Let's start over" he said and as he repeated the same request I knew he was looking for a commitment...
Which I gave him. So now I was stuck because I had to come through. If I had been allowed to slide by with "I'll try" I would have had a wonderful trapdoor just ready to escape through if the going got to tough.
Being the great coach he is, he knew that and what he wanted me to commit to was ultimately for my benefit. He also knew enough to understand that for me a commitment means I have to follow through.
I started thinking back on how often I use "I'll try" as a way of leaving me an out. More often than I want to admit and perhaps that's why I'm not always getting the results I want.
I always hated it when our parents would say "we'll see" to almost every request we made. That was their trapdoor, their way out if they didn't want to follow through. From a child's perspective it is one of the most dreaded responses because you know it's code for "no".
Trying may get something accomplished but a greater success rate will be achieved if we just commit to whatever we are stuck on at this minute. If it's a bad habit ...."I'm trying to quit smoking" or a response to someone making a request in a relationship.."Do you think you might make it home a little earlier tonight?" or even at work "Are you able to get me the paperwork I asked you for?" Trying just doesn't seem to inspire any confidence.
Commit to edging out the word try as you approach things and see if there is a positive result. I know that is my new intention.

Self-Esteem and Self-confidence

I have been spending most of the past week researching and reading about self-esteem and self-confidence for a project I am working on.
This is some heavy stuff.

I know there was a time in my life when both my self-esteem and self-confidence were at basement level. I felt as though I spent most of my days trying to climb out of a big black hole.

I never was sure if I was going to make it or if I deserved to.

Somewhere deep down inside though was a little voice that said I did matter. If not to anyone else at least to myself.

That was my first step out.

I have kept taking small steps since that day. Progress not perfection.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley was in the buiding tonight...so to speak. Where I live in western N.J. we have volunteer fire departments and rescue squads. They have many fund raisers and we try to help support them whenever we can.

Tonight they had an Elvis impersonator come in and do his show "Memories of Elvis Presley."
I wasn't quite sure if it would be any good and to be honest Elvis is a little before my time, but I talked my husband into taking me since I had already paid for the tickets!

We really had fun. I knew almost every song which just proves to me we should all learn to music because I didn't even know that I knew some of the songs until he started singing.
(are you following me?)

Anyway the whole audience seemed to be having a great time and my husband and I were sitting there with goofy grins on our faces, singing along....what a picture, right?

Boy did Elvis Presley put out a lot of music. It was fun listening to it and it was for an important cause. I can't express the amount of respect that I have for the members of both these squads.

My husband's house caught on fire...before he and I met. If it was not for the quick response of our local volunteer fire department it would have been a complete disaster. We both have a great respect for what they do and the time they give to their communities. We support the fire and rescue squads because we have needed them on several occasions and they have never let us down.

Oh and by the way, if you are ever looking for a great Elvis Presley impersonator try Joe Angerosa. We had a lot of fun and it was for a good cause.

Look For the Best Inside Yourself

Wow. I just was having one of those days. I don't know if it's the weather or what but I have been in a funk. My son-in-law whom I work with seemed to be in the same mood and since we were the only two on in the furniture store, it made for a long quiet day.

I finally stopped and asked myself...O.K. what if this were it?? What if this was your last day on earth? Is this how you want it to be?? I chewed on that for awhile and eventually my mood started to lift.

All in all my life is wonderful. We all have days that are downers but, I can change my day anytime I want. I can just start it over. I have good friends and I am a good friend.

I work hard at business and the returns are quite evident.

I have a great relationship with my kids and my husband and oh yes, my connection to a higher power is one of my greatest strengths.

I have a coaching business that I love and it puts me in touch with the most fascinating people.

As I write this now I can honestly say it's been a great day. I'm home, working on my coaching business, which is truly my passion in life and all is well.

I hope it turned out to be a pretty good (or even great, because why settle for pretty good) day for you as well.

If not, starting looking inside for your best. We all have wonderful assets we bring to this world.
Don't let us miss out on yours.

Improving Self-Confidence, Stop Comparing

I noticed today as I was watching a morning talk show (something I don't do very often) that I started comparing myself with many of the women in the audience. This one was thinner than me, that one had nicer clothes than I do, and the girl in the back row really knew how to put herself together and on and on.

So here I am taking a few minutes out of my day to relax and I'm starting to feel as though some how I'm not good enough. "What's this about?" I asked myself. I tried to figure out why I automatically started painting myself in the negative as I made these comparisons.

I understand that our brains are huge computers, taking in tons of information and analyzing it. That is why I even picked up on differences between me and these other women. It was something else that cast the negative light on it. That was the little voice that sometimes creeps in and says "maybe you're not good enough."

O.K. after I told that gremlin, the little voice of self-doubt to shut up. I looked at the audience again. This time I looked at the woman who looked so put together. I could pull that off. In fact I thought I could even do it a little better.

The woman with the nicer clothes... well maybe her clothes were nicer or maybe I needed to try some fresh combinations of favorites I already had.


The woman who was thinner.... I may never be as thin as she is but I am working harder each day to get in the best shape possible.


Now instead of making negative comparisons my mind was looking at some possibilities.
Making comparisons that cause us to feel negatively about ourselves rob us of our self-confidence. Try looking at possibilities that build you up and get you looking at what is positive instead of falling into the negative comparisons with others that leave us feeling less than.

New England Floods Cause Havoc

I am originally from New England and spent a lot of time in the area of N.E. New England being affected by the floods from recent rains. My daughter currently lives in one of the areas that has experienced major flooding.

As I looked at the photos she forwarded to me of the damage done by the flood waters I couldn't help but be in awe of the power of mother nature. We may think that we build heavy duty dams and provide for rainfall but it was no match for the onslaught of water that hit in such a short span of time.

As I watched people being interviewed on television about how they felt having to evacuate their homes I couldn't help but be impressed. New Englanders are a hardy sort. They grabbed what they could and determined they would deal with the aftermath when possible.

During one phone conversation with my daughter, she was just returning from a friends apartment where they had been placing the furniture on stacks of cinder blocks. This was to help shield it from the water that was already at the back door and very sure to be coming in to some degree.

My thoughts go out to all those who have suffered with the situation of flood waters in New England and the havoc they have caused. I see damage being done to places I have lived and it makes me sad.

My thoughts and prayer go out to all living in that region.

After Mothers Day

Just wanted to check in quickly and see how everyone made out after Mother's Day. Some people absolutely love it and for other people it is a struggle.

I am a Mother. I have two children and three step-children Only two of them live close to home though. I don't live close to my Mom and was not going to be able to spend the day with her. That is always a little hard for me.

In fact I spent the day working in our family business which was just as well. It gave my step-daughter the day to spend with her two kids and her Mom.

I also have a sister in law who is pregnant with her and my brother's first child and another brother and sister in law who have gone through many attempts to conceive without success. For one couple Mother's Day is a joy, for the other it is a struggle.

I have friends who are Mother's but have already lost their own Mothers. For them the day is bittersweet.

Where ever you may fall amongst the women who have just made it through Mother's Day, Please know you are being supported.

You are supported with good thoughts, well wishes, and prayers.

Until next time....

Dealing With Overwhelm

I wanted to make sure I posted to my blog today after taking yesterday off. I was so overwhelmed by Thursday night. I have been either working, out at meetings, or traveling every single solid day for the last 4-5 weeks.

I kept wondering why I was so low on energy and typical of me, I figured I would push harder and would just be able to "shake it off." As the days went by and I didn't appear to bounce back I decided to talk to my coach about it.
I am a Life Coach and sometimes it surprises people that most good coaches have a coach of their own. My own coach encourages and helps me forward myself so that I can do the same for the clients I work with. As I talked to my coach he asked a very important question, which was....When is the last time you have taken some time just for you to do whatever you want to do? Not what you need to do. Not what you have to do. What you want to do.

It had been a very long time. Then came the next question....How do you expect to feel invigorated if you never actually let you body and mind relax so that it can recharge itself?

I am a fairly intelligent woman and deep down I knew I was running myself ragged and tapping all my energy resources. I also knew I would have to slow down at least for a short time. The voice in my head however kept screaming, NO! There's too much to do! In fact I was overwhelmed by everything I was trying to get done.

My coach asked me to make a commitment to taking Friday afternoon and evening off. I was to nothing that would take much energy. I was just supposed to kick back and enjoy myself, let the feelings of overwhelm dissipate.

Tentatively, I took my book and went out on my back porch. It was a beautiful day. Sunny and 70 degrees. I put up my feet and just lost myself in the pages. I ordered take-out for my husband and myself and watched T.V
all night. I got to bed early and woke the next morning feeling a little less overwhelmed.

Often times it's hard to determine that we are overwhelmed, that we need a little break. It's important however to try and notice when those feelings are starting to take over. Dealing with feelings of overwhelm can be pretty easy especially if we nip it in the bud.

Just stop all the constant doing. The world isn't going to fall apart if we take a few hours off.

Choose something you like to do. Get a book and curl up. Schedule a manicure or pedicure or better yet get a massage.

Go for a leisurely walk or just take a long nap.

If you have kids, recruit your husband, a good friend, or a babysitter if need be to give you a few hours of just "you" time.

The rewards will be well worth it. You won't feel as overwhelmed. You're stress levels will lessen and your outlook should be a little brighter.

Now remember to keep taking time for you on a regular basis.

Weight Training Routines Revisited

Well, last night when I was posting I was a little tired and I knew I would be getting up early to go to the Super Slow Zone near where I live.
On reflecting back I remembered that I forgot to include some of the greatest benefits I enjoy from this kind of weight training routine.

1. The routine only takes 20- 25 minutes. In this time I cover all the muscle groups and receive great aerobic benefits from the type of breathing used while training.

2. You work one on one with an instructor who has had intensive education in this particular weight training routine. That allowed me to reach levels of fitness I probably would not have achieved on my own. The accountability factor can be very motivating

3. You do not have more than 2 people working out at the same time. There is no loud music. There is no chit chat. You go in and focus on your weight training routine and you get out.

4. You only work out twice a week. It is extremely important that you let the body recover in between workouts. If you want to enjoy a walk, run, or bike ride in between workouts it should be more recreational and less intense. This is to allow you to reap the greatest benefits from this type of weight training routine.

5. I see college kids, young women, older women, very old men as well the buff body builders one might expect. This is a weight training routine that can be tailored for every age. You develop your strength at a rate that works for your individual needs.

As I mentioned before you can get more information on this type of weight training at www.superslowzone.com. This type of weight training is becoming more widely recognized for it's health benefits. If you are tired of your existing routine or no longer seeing the benefits you would like,Super Slow might be for you.

Weight Training Routines

Weight training routines have been talked about extensively over the past few years. The benefits women can derive by adopting a weight training routine are realized by most people these days.

Even though women are hearing about how good weight training is for you, I still know many women who have neglected to make this a part of their overall fitness program. I don't think they realize how detrimental it is to not have a good weight training routine.

As a woman who has used weight training as a major portion of my regimen of exercise, I would like to share a little about my weight training routine. Though I spent many years working with free weights with pretty good results, I was introduced to a weight training routine by the name of Super Slow Zone last August.

This routine is incredible. It is the most physically and mentally demanding weight training routine I have ever participated in. The rewards I have seen have been huge. I definitely have a strong love/hate relationship with this routine.

No, I don't look ready for a body building contest or a pin-up photo for a bodybuilding magazine.
I am however, stronger and more toned than I have ever been.

It's hard to imagine, but this program has also helped me with my mental focus as well my discipline in everyday life..

Super Slow Zone is a franchise. If you search for them on the web you will probably find one close by. Go try a complimentary session and see if it may be a good addition to your exercise routine.

It's the best weight training routine I have ever found and I intend on sticking with it the rest of my life.

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Deveoping Self-Esteem

Developing self-esteem is something that has always held interest for me. Ever since I was in grade school I felt as though my esteem was lagging even though I didn't have a name for it at that age.

I don't even like to think about those awkward teenage years... I still cringe.
As I moved into adulthood and beyond I realized that I was going to have to take charge of increasing my own self-esteem. No one was waiting in line to do it for me. (don't I wish!)

I have done a lot of reading about self-esteem and listening to programs about it. By implementing many of the tools and suggestions I discovered, I have positively raised my level of self-esteem on a continuous basis. The results I experience have been well worth the effort.

I was introduced to Dr. Joe Rubino by way of a teleclass this evening. He is a very caring and dedicated individual when it comes to the subject of developing self-esteem. He has an extensive background on working with people developing self-esteem both personally and professionally.

After listening carefully to what he had to say, I determined that I would get a hold of his workbook on developing self-esteem. If developing self-esteem is an area in your life that you would like to work on, I suggest you check out his book at www.theselfesteembook.com.

Don't hesitate. This could be just the help you have been hoping for.

How To Build Self-Confidence

Building self-confidence in social situations can be difficult unless you remember that the other person is usually just as nervous as you.

Why do you think so many people want a drink or two to loosen up?

If you are a naturally curious person, learning how to build self-confidence will be a cinch.
If on the other hand you tend to not want to know much about other people you may have to hone your questioning skills a bit.

Introduce yourself to the first person available. Ask them what they do? What brought them there?
Most people love to talk about themselves. After all it's a subject they know lots about.

Ask questions that give the other person room to express themselves. By asking a "you" question instead of making an "I" statement you will find yourself quickly in a conversation.

People will think you are a wonderful listener and they will want to naturally be around you.

This is how I learned to build self-confidence in social situations. I used to dread going into a room full of strangers and would find the nearest corner to hide in.

Now I look forward to an opportunity to meet people I have never met before. Try it and let me know if it works.