Wedding Anniversary

Yesterday was my fourth wedding anniversary. It was great because it also falls on my son in law's birthday. We had a family party with my stepdaughter, my son in law their two children, my two children, my mother in law and my husband's first wife.

Yes we are often a strange group, but everyone gets along. My husband and his first wife had been divorced for many years before we ever met....we actually enjoy each others company. Having the grandkids around is a blast as they are two years old and seven months old and both full of energy.

Maybe because I am older or because it is my second marriage I don't need a big romantic dinner. A family dinner leaves me feeling fulfilled and grateful for my life.
I won't say that this has been the easiest year of married life....

We both have been dealing with some personal family issues and it certainly has taken its toll. I have however learned a lot this year. I have developed my personal boundaries this year.....I have learned to ask for what I need and take care of myself when I feel overwhelmed.

Falling in love is always so easy and relationships can be work. I have come to realize that a relationship that requires work doesn't mean that it is a "bad' relationship. Second marriages and marrying older means you have more experiences you bring with you into the relationship. Blending families is difficult and wonderful all at the same time and the lessons it teaches you are priceless if you are willing to stay open and learn them.

My happily ever after may not be what the fairy tales taught but it is mine and I cherish it.

Reality T.V.

I know I may be in the minority and I don't watch much T.V. as a whole but it seems as though every other show I see is a reality show or an American Idol knock off. It totally blows me away. Many people just love these shows and I find them hard to watch.

Sure they are full of a few laughs especially the Idol look alikes. People are willing to do anything for a few moments on T.V....or maybe they really believe they are that good. I find watching the reruns with the audience laughing at the "losers" difficult to watch. maybe I am a sap....but I am uncomfortable getting my laughs at the expense of others......yeah on Everyone Loves Raymond where they are looking to the audience to laugh and it is staged for it, then I am on board.

I get the feeling though that these folks on the reality show mean business.....so what if they aren't any good....I give them some respect for trying and let it go at that. It's more than I would have the guts to attempt.

So back to my original point....for me I find T.V. pretty lacking these days....with one exception The Closer on TNT. At least I have one show I still like to watch.

Who We Really Are

We never seem to see ourselves as others see us. I have a wonderful friend. I think she is one of the bravest people I know. I have watched her go through some incredible things in her life that would just devastate others....and she has survived it all. In my mind she is incredible.

In her mind though she can never measure up. She feels that she is never enough and needs to be reassured that she is. What she sees when she looks at herself and what I see are two different people. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle, it's always hard to know for sure.

It left me wondering however. I feel pretty comfortable with who I am at this stage in life. I am pretty settled. I have done a lot of the inner work and continue to do so. I have strengths and weaknesses and am o.k. with it. I do know however that I have friends who think I am quite a bit better than I think I am, who think I am smarter or wiser. When they mention it I am always surprised..."where did they come up with that?" I think.

Who's right and who's wrong. Perhaps both sides are in some ways or perhaps we believe the little stories we tell ourselves over and over and deny our true worth.

I don't want to go the other way and falsely build myself up but I wonder how much we hold ourselves back?

Rain, Rain, Everywhere

Well I know it's just whining but it has been raining for days on end and I am feeling in a funk. Some people do not seem to feel any effect from the weather but I unfortunately am not in that group....I am perpetually groggy in this weather and can't seem to get it going.

So here's the deal. This is just going to become a day of self-care. Some work and then a little yoga and perhaps a nap. Maybe this is just my body insisting that I take it down a notch for the day and replenish my energy stores.

I know that many people are suffering more than I am. There are many areas of flooding again and you are all in my thoughts. It has been a crazy spring and a little drying out would be in order.

For now I am hanging out, doing what I can, and looking for the sun and trying to keep it light.

Well It's Done!

My coaching page finally arrived on my website today and I am thrilled. This coaching business is what drives me and what excites me. Working with people as they move forward with their lives to achieve incredible things is humbling

Mentors and coaches have pushed me to achieve every important goal in my life.
I had the specific answers for me, they helped me to unearth them.

The process and the end goal were well worth the effort. I do not believe that one was ultimately more important than the other, they both had a purpose and a value.

Coaching is invigorating, fun, and life changing. If you still do not know what it can do for you....check it out!

A Weekend of Family Fun

I'm a little sad to be back after a weekend visit with my family...I must admit I still get homesick even at my advanced age.

Whereas I live in N.J. the rest of my family lives in Massachusetts. When I drop in for a visit I enjoy a three day open house with brothers and sisters dropping in and out. On top of that I grew up in a gorgeous beach town and taking the jeep out on the beach...laying in the warm sun and listening to the waves is a true blessing.

This weekend I was hoping my brother and sister-in-law would be welcoming their first child.....alas I will have to be patient a little longer. I am staying close to the phone and waiting for the call to tell me that I am an aunt again.

My family is great and though they may poke fun at me or give me a hard time they are in truth my greatest supporters. It is o.k. for them to make fun of me but just let someone outside the family try. It would not be pretty.

Family is something I am guilty of taking for granted... I don't intend to, it just happens. Visiting my Dad really brought that home. His health is failing and I don't get to see him that often. When I do see him I often can't say to him all the things I am truly longing to. Life is short and in the end... for me... family is what I have.

My family is a huge part of my connection with the human race. They are the ones that have witnessed my life unfolding almost as long as I have and are not afraid to share their perspective of how it is turning out.

I am grateful for the unique, quirky family I have been granted. In my eyes they are the best.

Maintaining Focus

Maintaining focus is crucial if I want to achieve any important goal. I know on a daily basis that if don't maintain focus in this business I am creating...it will never be what I want it to be.

I work in one business while spending many hours creating Achieve Your Dream Coaching and many days I end up lying in bed staring at the ceiling reviewing what I didn't get done....why?...because I lost my focus that day.

Easy enough to do. I am a curious woman and their are a lot of interesting things that I would love to learn more about. Achieve your dream Coaching however is my baby. It is what truly represents what I want to accomplish in my life and I love all the work I put into it.

If I want it to succeed however I must exercise focus and discipline (I'm working on it). Somedays it is harder than others but I believe that if I maintain focus I will have a great business...I will be able to interact will incredible people... and hopefully I will be able to make some small difference.

Not a bad trade off

Taking Care of Yourself

I'm sure everyone can appreciate that feeling of being overwhelmed. Running around in 10 different directions trying to get everything done when in fact it woud be pretty much impossible to get everything done. It's a bit of a dream some days.

Well that's been my life lately......but in all honesty I love my life and I don't really want to change too much of it. I would however like a little extra time for me.

I was a little over extended and on a whim I booked myself a massage. I picked just the right girl for me. She barely spoke..... the lights and music were soothing and I had a delicious hour devoted just to me.

Wow..... I had once again neglected taking care of me but managed to be taking care of everyone else. I forgot once again that if I want to chip in and help others I must at least value myself enough to take care of ME.

It wasn't until I was about half way through the massage that the thoughts of ......"OH this is wonderful. this is just what I 've needed" started running through my head. I need to make myself a priority.

Seems simple but as my life gets crazier it's a principle that I keep letting slip my mind.

I'll have to keep working on that.

So What Isn't A Life Coach?

A Life Coach is not a mentor or a therapist or a consultant though the roots of coaching can probably be found in all three of these disciplines.

A mentor shares their experiences on a particular topic and will share their insights with you. A mentoring relationship is one of a client looking up to the mentor. In contrast to this, the coaching relationship is a partnership with both participants are walking side by side with the coach assisting the client in accessing their own wisdom.

A consultant is usually a specialist in a particular field. He or she is hired by the client to provide their expertise and develop solutions. Once the problems are solved the consultant moves on. A coach will work side by side with the client to look at the issue, come up with a plan of action and support the plan through fulfillment. A coach does not have to be the expert in a field, the client is the expert.

A therapist is concerned with getting people that are perceived as unhealthy and bringing them to health. They are often concerned with past issues surrounding an issue. A coach in contrast works in the present and is focused upon bringing the client into an incredible future, achieving the goals and dreams they desire.

Where as there may be some similarities between mentors, therapists and consultants, coaching is quite unique in that it is a collaborative and action oriented partnership between coach and client with both parties working for the benefit of the client.

Try To Keep an Open Mind

Boy oh boy today was one of those days when things kept coming up and I just wanted to jump to conclusions and make judgments about just about everything.

The stress level was high and I really felt pushed to the limit.....I just kept reminding myself "try to keep an open mind." It was a battle at certain points today.

Why try to keep an open mind?? Well for one if I keep an open mind I have a much greater variety of choices. I don't see things in such black and white and I often keep myself from jumping to a conclusion that I later regret..... or in other words I look like a jerk.

During one conversation with my son it came in particularly handy. I was running late. I had lent him my car earlier in the day and as I headed out the door I couldn't find the car keys....."he must still have them" I thought and now I'll really be late.

I gave him a call, kept my tone level and asked if he knew where they were....."right on the counter" he replied. It took a few moments but I found them....he didn't have to get defensive and I didn't look like an idiot.....whew.

So What's A Life Coach Anyway?

Life coaching has been around for sometime and still it's not difficult to find someone who has no idea what a life coach is. They ask "is it like a therapist?" Or sometimes they ask "oh is that like a personal trainer?"

So what is a life coach anyway? Well a personal trainer is a kind of a coach. They help you achieve certain health goals. They are especially effective if you have been trying to reach a goal but feel stuck.

A life coach works much the same way helping you work towards any number of goals you are trying to achieve. Their are as many types of life coaches as their are areas people want to improve in their life.

Their are success coaches, empowerment coaches, recovery coaches,relationship coaches and divorce readjustment coaches just to name a few.

Coaching is a collaborative partnership. Both the coach and the client work towards achieving the goals of the client. Coaching can occur in many settings. A large portion of it occurs via phone calls though it can be face to face or via e-mail as well.

A coach will assist you as you clarify your goals and aid you in putting a plan in place to achieve them. A coach will also hold you accountable for what you commit to in order to achieve your goal. You have the answers to what is best for you and your unique life path. A coach can help you uncover those answers so that you can move forward.

While there are no set time frames as to how long coaching should last it is wise to be willing to commit at lest three months to the process.

Most coaches offer a complimentary trial session to see it the two of you would be a good fit. If you really don't know much about the whole coaching process this is a safe way to do a little exploration.

There are many areas in life where we get stuck. We may be able to eventually get unstuck and keep moving forward ourselves. Working with a coach streamlines that process and allows you to achieve goals you may not otherwise have dreamed of attempting.